- TUNE IN TO THEIR BASELINE.
- HAND SIGNALS.
- IT’S AUTONOMIC.
- SUBTLE SIGNS.
- VERBAL SIGNS OF LYING.
- WATCH OUT FOR PHONE PHONIES.
- LYING SPOUSE SIGNS.
Research has shown that Americans lie a lot. The average person lies at least twice per day so those with things to hide probably lie a lot more. Many psychology professionals have studied the way people behave when they are lying. Some people are ‘good liars’, it just seems to come naturally to them, but most people are not. In poker it is called having a ‘tell’, some sort of behavior that indicates you are bluffing. Here we will be sharing how to detect a liar in other relationships too.
There are a lot of reasons that liars tell lies, so let’s discuss how to detect liars by body language. The first thing that all the experts on lies and liars agree on is that you need a baseline. What does that mean? It is a term for what someone’s normal behavior is.
Tune in to their baseline.
If you want to know how to spot a liar in a relationship you need to pay attention to how they act in non-threatening situations. Ask them questions about things they would have no reason to lie about and just observe them as you listen. How do they stand? Do they move their hands when they talk? What facial expressions do they use? What does their voice sound like when they are relaxed? If you pay attention to those details in their behavior when they are talking casually, it will be easier to spot changes when they are telling lies.
The ways someone uses their hands while talking can be signs he is lying when confronted. Body language of liars includes using both hands and gesturing after speaking instead of during. Lying requires more thought than telling the truth and can disrupt normal gesturing patterns. Turning the palms away from the listener can indicate withholding information. One method for how to detect a liar in interviews is to notice if they put their hands in their pockets or keep them hidden under the desk or table while talking. Some liars are also likely to point a lot, a way of subconsciously directing attention away from themselves.
Our best ally when it comes to how to detect liars is the autonomic nervous system or ANS. The ANS regulates things like breathing, heart rate, and temperature. The ANS will often betray liars by making their skin flush or go pale, by making their breathing heavier or faster, or causing them to perspire. They might even start scratching themselves more than usual because of changes in circulation. They may also find it difficult to talk because their mouth has gone dry. Figuring out how to detect a well trained liar can be more of a challenge. The more lies someone tells, the better they become at hiding it. They are comfortable doing it so the ANS stops reacting.
The body language of a liar can let you know, songs have been written about signs of lying eyes, but those signs may be subtle. Their eye movements may change, they might blink more or less frequently than usual. They might tighten their lips, or their nostrils might flare. If they quickly look away before answering a question, such eye movements can also indicate dishonesty. If they are suddenly unnaturally still that can also be body language of liars.
Verbal signs of lying.
There are a number of signs of lying in speech. Does the tone or pitch of their voice, or cadence of their speech change suddenly? Does their volume suddenly go up or down? Do they add more “eh, um, huh, like” fillers than usual? That can occur when someone is composing the lie as they tell it. If they use the words “honest” or “honestly” repeatedly that can be a sign that they are trying too hard to convince you they aren’t a liar. Probably the easiest way to tell if someone is lying though is when they stop talking about themselves. Removing themselves from the narrative is a way of unconsciously distancing themselves from the lies cheaters tell.
Watch out for phone phonies.
If you cannot actually see the person then those verbal signs above are how to detect a liar on the phone. If they are repeating themselves or going on and on with too much information that may indicate dishonesty. Changes in tone, cadence or content of speech can also be indicators of deception. It is more difficult to spot signs someone is lying over text. There what is left out may be signs of a lying spirit. Everyone has a distinct communication style. Once you have spent enough time with someone deviations from their regular patterns become easier to catch.
Lying spouse signs.
If your partner suddenly starts touching or covering their mouth when they speak that can indicate dishonesty. Restless feet can also be a sign that the body is taking over because their mind is occupied with concealing the deception. Body language of liars is complex, there is no one sure formula. There are however things you can become more aware of. The key to recognizing the signs of dishonesty in a relationship is keen observation.
Remember, the first step is observing your partner’s usual communication style. If you are entering a new relationship that means asking enough of the right kind of questions. It may take you a couple of weeks to have a complete enough picture of their behavior to start asking the uncomfortable questions.
The top dishonesty indicators to look out for are:
- Suddenly turning away or avoiding eye contact - or trying to maintain constant eye contact.
- Shifting weight from one foot to the other or fidgeting – unnatural stillness or rigidity.
- Difficulty speaking or covering/touching mouth – repeating points for emphasis or too much information.
- Small changes in expression, coloring or breathing – changes in tone, volume, or speed of speech.
- Unconsciously covering vulnerable areas like the throat or abdomen – not including themselves in their narrative.
If you pay attention you can detect body language of liars and protect yourself from heartache. As your relationship watchdog, iFindCheaters.com has six differentservicecategories that can help you discover whether your partner is being honest or not. There are also a variety of plans and combinations so you can get answers quickly and inexpensively. Lying about one thing may mean that they have been dishonest about other things as well. You deserve to know who you are giving your heart to.
Cain, A. & Gillett, R. (2018). 11 Signs Someone Might Be Lying to You.Business Insider.https://www.businessinsider.com/11-signs-someone-is-lying-2014-4#9-it-may-become-difficult-for-them-to-speak-9
Glass, L. (2014). The Body Language of Liars.
Jalili, C. (2019). How to tell if someone is lying to you according to body language experts.Time.https://time.com/5443204/signs-lying-body-language-experts/
Jantz, G. L. (2015). 6 ways to detect a liar in just seconds.Psychology Today.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hope-relationships/201507/6-ways-detect-liar-in-just-seconds
ten Brinke, L., Vohs, K. D., & Carney, D. R. (2016). Can ordinary people detect deception after all?. Trends in cognitive sciences, 20(8), 579-588.