Technology makes so many things easier like commerce, making new friends, and even infidelity. The information age has been in full swing for a while now. Some people take to tech with ease and quickly discover how to work the angles. Others feel intimidated and vulnerable. Not everyone has the knack and that is where iFindCheaters comes in.
What is the first step in catching a cheater?
Have realistic relationship expectations. When you decide to put yourself out there in the dating world you need be prepared. Nobody advertises their shortcomings and most of us are more than a bit insecure. There are predators out there though, of all descriptions.
Whether you are in a committed relationship and fear your partner might be cheating, or are newly single, the best thing you can do is to investigate. Even if you are just taking your first steps in the dating scene you have the right to protect yourself. So…
For those braving new relationships:
- Realize that there are confused, dishonest and potentially dangerous people in the world.
- Realize that often those people will be attractive, well dressed, well educated, drive a nice car, have a nice address, have a prestigious job…
- Realize that genuinely getting to know someone takes time, whatever the speed-dating and dating platform purveyors may say to the contrary.
That does not mean that you should be paranoid about everyone you meet. Just like the law states “innocent until proven guilty” you should not assume everyone is a cheater. That would be unfair to you and to the collective “them”. What you should be is cautious.
Meeting People 101:
Listen as much as, if not more than, you talk. That does not mean you should be evasive, but you are not obliged to present a report either. Someone’s tone of voice can also be revealing. Do not be in a hurry to disclose your entire life story in your first meetings. Give the other person a chance to show their interest and ask for more info. For every tidbit you share they should do likewise.
If you encounter someone who wants full disclosure up front do not cave in. It is OK to explain that you prefer to share some things once you have gotten to know someone better. For example, you do want to let someone know up front if you have children. It is not a good idea though to tell a relative stranger your children’s names and ages, what schools they attend or what afterschool activities they participate in. Use due diligence.
Pay careful attention to how someone speaks about their previous relationships. Cheaters tend to always place responsibility for failed relationships with their partners. It takes two to make or break a relationship. If you suspect sexual hypocrisy read more here.
A good place to start getting to know one another is by discussing your general interests. That can say a lot about each of you without getting too personal right off the bat. If someone you meet comes across as “intense” or seems to be pressuring you for information just look them in the eye and ask them who hurt them. How they react/respond to that question may reveal a lot about them as well. If they are taken aback, you can explain that you assumed they must have been hurt in the past to feel they need so much information so early in your acquaintance. That lets them know that you do not feel comfortable being interrogated without being confrontational.
If your connection is still new, focus on really getting to know them before you go “all in”. If they are guarded or elusive do not make the mistake of confusing devious for “mysterious”. If you are concerned they might be hiding things, there are many resources available to find out. Life is not a romance novel, if something seems too good to be true then you should be doubly cautious.
For those in serious committed relationships:
Pay attention and check in with your partner often. The hardest part about being a grown up is managing time. With work pressures and family responsibilities it is easy to get overwhelmed. Often instead of pulling together during difficult times we may feel pushed apart. Know the signs of cheating, but do not forget that being in a committed relationship means that you have decided to face the world together instead of braving it alone.
A few additional safeguards:
- Watch out for signs of mate poaching.
- When in doubt, ask.
- If your partner refuses to talk, keep asking.
By sharing your concerns with your partner you are expressing your commitment to your connection. If there is genuine love and respect in your relationship, they should be willing to talk about your concerns. If they become defensive or passive aggressive, trying to make you feel insecure without answering your questions, take a couple of deep breaths and stick to your guns.
Deflection is a tactic used by those with something to hide. What they are hiding though might not always be infidelity. Financial concerns are a top cause of guilt, shame, and feelings of inadequacy. A key cue is their level of agitation. If someone is planning a surprise birthday event or vacation, they may be evasive but not openly hostile.
- RULE #1: Cruelty is never OK.
We all might be abrupt, impatient, or touchy at times with our partner. Intentional meanness however, seeking to hurt, evoke insecurity in or otherwise undermine one’s partner is a serious sign that should not be excused easily. If your partner suddenly becomes cruel let a trusted friend or family member know. If you do not have a trusted friend or family member in your area and you feel threatened talk to your physician, your pastor, any third party that you can check in with.
- RULE #2: Nobody deserves to be abused.
Predators are drawn to people with low self-esteem because they are easier targets. Really listen to what your partner is saying, not just the sound of their voice. Listen for veiled insults dressed as compliments such as “You are really attractive for a chunky person.” or “You look so good for your age.” A genuine compliment is never followed by a qualifying statement. Undermining your self-confidence is a form of abuse too. If someone claims they love you, they should not want to undermine you or feed your insecurities. If someone loves you, they want you to thrive.
If you fear that your partner might physically harm you the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/ has a 24 hour services in place the number is 1 800 799 7233.
What is the next step in catching a cheater?
With nothing more than your partner’s first and last name and email address you can access a lot of information. The iFindCheaters algorithms allow you to search dating/alternative lifestyle sites, social media platforms and chat/hook-up apps, XXX sites and live cam streams. If an active account exists that matches your partner’s information, it will be found. There is a Tinder specific feature with two options for monitoring recent activity. You can even search national listings to find addresses, telephone numbers, marital status… We offer a lot of tools to help you learn who you are involved with.
Limits of the Law.
We are often asked if we can provide the log in credentials for potentially cheating partners’ accounts on the services we scan. The answer is a firm “No”. If we could do that then your credit card company or cell phone provider could do the same. All Software as a Service businesses tread a fine line between service and security. Everyone is looking for the angle, but rules do need to exist. These convenient services can only exist so long as the rules are respected.
Know where to look.
Once you know where your partner has active accounts you can follow up. It may be something they created before you met and really do not use. Most platforms show when a user was last active. If you do not feel comfortable creating accounts yourself to see if their account has been active recently ask them about it. If you are concerned about your partner thinking you are “spying” on them you can say that a friend told you about their profile.
What about pornography?
Two-dimensional images should not be threatening to a relationship. That said, the amount of money spent for subscriptions to adult content sites or services might be. Consuming pornographic media does not make someone a bad person. The type of pornography that someone consumes can indicate whether you will be sexually compatible. Knowing what turns someone on is important information for relationship success. Many people are not comfortable talking openly about what they like but a picture is worth 1000 words!
If your partner wants you to send them sexy selfies be sure you can trust them first. The general rule is if you would not want your mother, children, neighbor, or boss to see something, do not distribute it electronically. Flirty texts full of promise and innuendo but without explicit images attached can be equally effective. That can be a fun way to get your partner thinking about you without overexposing yourself.
What iFindCheaters Can Provide.
iFindCheaters offers a free trial so that prospective users can see how the service works. Just by signing up for our newsletter you can download the eBook of your choice. Every time you make a purchase or upgrade you can download another eBook free of charge. We want people to be happy. That is why we create resources for our site users that will hopefully help them navigate the challenges of modern relationships.
What People Say.
We have received a lot of love from satisfied users. Why? Because what we say we deliver, we deliver. We are not magicians, we do not “know all”. What we do know is how to point people in the right direction and help them ask the right questions. We can help you acquire access to information that will empower you to ensure you are safe.
To help people looking for love protect themselves from predators and serial daters. We think it sucks that people who are not as tech savvy as others can be preyed upon. That is why iFindCheaters offers this affordable and easy-to-use service.
Who wants to be alone? No one I know of! In all my years of life on this sphere called Earth, I have yet to meet someone who does not want a loving companion. Having a devoted partner to stand by your side during challenges and celebrate the joys makes life worth living.
iFindCheaters is committed to constantly upgrading the services that can help you in your search for your soulmate. Even if you have already found your special someone, we provide you peace of mind and helpful information. Read more here on how to keep the spark alive and the twinkle in each other’s eyes.
If you have not already tried it you can generate a free trial report by registering here. Even if you do not have any concerns regarding your partner, you may know someone else who does. Feel free to share this link with them as well as the articles contained in our blog.
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Cheating happens. Knowing the risk factors and how you can protect yourself gives you more confidence. If you register for a free account, you will also receive our newsletters with the latest developments. Soon we will be launching new services that can help you protect your home or business and your children as well. iFindCheaters, protecting what you love.