why being attracted to narcissists may indicate underlying issues

Narcissists have a captivating allure that can draw people in with their confidence, charm, and charisma. Research suggests that some individuals find narcissists appealing as short-term dating prospects due to their magnetic personalities, physical attractiveness, and boldness in social situations.


However, behind the facade lies a lack of empathy, manipulative tendencies, and a distorted sense of self-worth. Contrary to appearances, narcissists may not genuinely value or prioritize their partner's needs and emotions.

Being in love with a narcissist can be a complex and bewildering experience. Reflect on your reasons for feeling attracted to a narcissist and evaluate whether the relationship is healthy and fulfilling.

Here are three scientifically supported explanations for why you may be drawn to individuals with narcissistic traits:

Desire for Entertainment

According to a study published in Social Psychology and Personality Science, narcissists possess a unique ability to entertain others, which aligns with their grandiose self-perception. This characteristic can make them appealing to individuals seeking constant stimulation from their partners.

Those who seek distractions from negative emotions, boredom, or dissatisfaction may find themselves in relationships with individuals, such as narcissists, who create emotionally intense stimuli, whether positive or negative.

This can manifest in various forms, including:

  • Enjoying humor through memes or other media
  • Sharing common interests and engaging in enjoyable activities
  • Being attracted to horror movies or intense media content

While sharing exciting and passionate moments with a partner can contribute to positive memories, relying excessively on these experiences as a means of escape may indicate:

  • Lack of emotional intimacy or connection
  • Underlying unresolved issues
  • Unhealthy or addictive behavioral patterns

Exercise caution when selecting a partner based solely on their ability to entertain you.

Desire for Protection

This inclination can be likened to the "damsel in distress" narrative, where one partner prefers to be reliant on and dependent upon the other.

Maintaining a balanced sense of dependency is crucial in any relationship. When the equation becomes skewed, it may indicate:

  • Low self-esteem or self-compassion
  • Lack of self-confidence
  • Misconceptions about what constitutes a healthy relationship due to a lack of positive role models

While being in the presence of a confident narcissist may offer a sense of protection, remember that their priority will always be their own reassurance rather than yours.

Shared Traits

For individuals who repeatedly find themselves attracted to narcissists, it is disconcerting to consider that they might be drawn to a reflection of themselves. A study published in Personality and Individual Differences suggests that it is common for couples to share certain traits.

Naturally, we gravitate towards people who feel familiar and can relate to us, fostering feelings of comfort and understanding while reducing conflicts. However, when this instinct leads to a relationship with a narcissist, it can be problematic since their way of loving mimics your behavior to establish a disingenuous connection. What may initially appear as shared interests and habits could be a façade to create a false bond.

That being said, if you genuinely possess narcissistic personality tendencies, this may be less of an issue. Other research published in Personality and Individual Differences indicates that individuals with narcissistic traits tend to find ideal partners who share their self-centered tendencies.

The Bottom Line

Even though narcissists are attractive, you should be aware of the possible problems and evaluate how healthy and fulfilling your relationship is. If you suspect your partner may be exhibiting narcissistic traits and could cheat on you, iFindCheaters is here to help. With our detailed reports, you can learn about your partner's habits and figure out if they are likely to cheat on you. Try iFindCheaters for free today and take the first step toward being in charge. Don't let doubt keep you from being happy and healthy. Trust your gut and make decisions about your relationship based on what you know.

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