How can you tell if your boyfriend is being unfaithful? If you're asking this question, you probably already suspect adultery or, at the very least, that something is wrong with your relationship. Of course, the indicators of infidelity varies from relationship to relationship, but there are some similar threads to watch for. First and foremost, I'll tell you this: If your instinct tells you that your spouse is cheating, it's possible that you're correct.
However, before confronting your significant other about their actions, you may want to acquire further proof. The following are some common indications of infidelity to keep an eye out for:
1. A more appealing look.
If your significant other begins exercising and eating better, healthy food, it might be an indication that they are attempting to seem more desirable to someone (possibly you, but possibly an affair partner). If Mr. Sweatpants-Are-Just-Fine-at-a-Party suddenly begins wearing slacks with matching socks and a trendy shirt, or Ms. I-Can't-Help-It-If-I-Smell-Like-Our-Son's-Poopy-Diapers suddenly starts smelling like Chanel No. 5, it might be a sign of an affair. The same goes for a new haircut and undergarments, particularly if your significant other seems to be the same around you but looks substantially better for work or specific social occasions.
2. Use of a phone or computer in secret.
Cheaters tend to use their phones and laptops more than they used to, and they protect them as if their life depended on it. It's not a good indication if your partner's phone and laptop never needed a password before and suddenly do. It's not a good indicator if your spouse begins deleting messages and cleaning their internet history on a regular basis. It's not a good indicator if your spouse never gives up their phone, even if they take it into the bathroom with them when they shower. It's also an issue if you ask to look at your partner's phone and they refuse. What might possibly be there that they would wish to keep hidden, except from information about your surprise birthday?
3. Unreachable periods with your beloved
If your spouse is cheating on you, he or she will be less likely to pick up the phone or react to your SMS. You could hear plausible reasons like they were in a meeting, driving, or in a "dead zone" and didn't realize you were attempting to contact them. It's a terrible indicator if your spouse is unavailable when working late or on a business trip.
4. Sexual activity levels less, more, or different
Sexual activity levels in your relationship might be lowered or raised, which can be an indication of infidelity. Less sex happens when your spouse is preoccupied with someone else; more sex occurs when they are attempting to conceal this. Another clue that you're partner cheating is that the sex with him/her seems less emotionally linked. Or your spouse is adding new methods and activities into your sex life or introducing new techniques. Even if you appreciate it, it's conceivable they're picking up new skills outside of your relationship.
5. Your significant other is antagonistic to you and your relationship.
Cheaters have a tendency to justify their actions (in their own minds). They accomplish this in a variety of ways, one of which is by putting the responsibility on you. They persuade themselves that since you don't look like you did when they married you, or because you aren't daring enough in the bedroom, or because you don't appreciate all the beautiful things they do for you, they deserve to have some fun somewhere else.
Their personal explanations for infidelity often seep out, and they treat you and your relationship with contempt. If it feels like nothing you do is right, or that things that used to not bother your spouse are now bothering them, or that you're being pushed away, it might be a sign of infidelity.
6. A change in the timetable
When your significant other, who has never worked late before, suddenly needs to work late, and this occurs on a regular basis, they may be lying. If your spouse has never gone on a business trip before and now feels compelled to do so, it might be an indication that they are enjoying weekend trips with an affair partner. Flat tires, dead batteries, traffic jams, additional time at the gym, and other similar reasons for being late or missing might all indicate adultery. A cheating spouse may also forget things like picking up the kids, birthdays, and other key dates.
7. Your friends seem to be uneasy around you.
When it comes to infidelity, you, the betrayed spouse, are almost usually the last to know. Friends of the cheater are often aware of the infidelity from the outset, and your own friends are likely to learn about it long before you do. This information usually makes these people feel uneasy while they're near you. Friends of the cheater may attempt to avoid you or be extremely kind to you. Your own friends may attempt to avoid discussing your relationship with you, and they may compensate by being too kind.
8. Unaccounted for costs.
If you see unusual charges on your partner's credit cards, or if your or your partner's bank accounts, retirement accounts, investment accounts, or other accounts suddenly have less money in them, it might be an indication of adultery. If you question your spouse about these spending and their replies don't sound right, they're probably lying. Gifts, travels, wine and meals, hotel rooms, and other expenses associated with infidelity cost money. Cheating may easily pile up in terms of expenditures. It's not a good indicator if you see huge cash withdrawals or proof of purchases from areas you seldom or never visit.
9. Emotional closeness has waned.
No relationship is as passionate as it was in the first few months after a few years. Having said that, we do have a tendency to form bonds and solid attachments over time, learning to trust one another with our secrets, wants, and other significant areas of our life. Building emotional closeness is the term for this procedure. And it's emotional connection that keeps us attached to our significant others long after the rose has faded.
So, if your spouse suddenly becomes less emotionally vulnerable and personal with you, and does not seem to want you to be emotionally vulnerable and intimate, it's a good sign that their emphasis has switched – most likely to an affair partner.
10. When you inquire about infidelity, your spouse deflects and avoids the question.
If your partner is cheating on you, the last thing they want to do is discuss it with you. As a result, they may attempt to divert and avoid the issue when you bring it up in conversation. In short, your spouse will do everything they can to divert your attention away from you, or they will blame you for what you're thinking and feeling.
If you've confronted your partner about infidelity and received a rebuff, such as "If you trusted me a little more, maybe things would be better between us," don't let that override your gut instinct that something is wrong in your relationship. You shouldn't instantly believe your spouse when they say you're at blame. As previously said, if your intuition tells you that your partner is cheating on you, you are probably correct.
