RELATED: ISOLATION AND EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION: 6 RED FLAGS
Did you know that passive-aggressive behavior can pop up in any relationship? These people can seem all nice and compliant at first. But underneath, they're always causing trouble. It can range from making excuses to actively undermining someone’s success.
If someone is constantly passive-aggressive, they usually have a few things in common: they’re tough to handle, awkward to be around, avoid direct confrontation, and are deceptive over time.
Outlined below are 10 common traits that passive-aggressive individuals often display within relationships, accompanied by excerpts from our books.
1. Concealed Verbal Hostility
Examples include negative gossip, a negative outlook, persistent criticism of ideas, conditions, and expectations, speaking to an adult as if they were a child, and invalidating others' experiences and emotions.
2. Veiled Hostile Humor
This includes sarcasm, disguised hostile jokes followed by "just kidding," repetitive teasing, and subtle insults targeting appearance, gender, socio-cultural background, credentials, behavior, decisions, social relations, and more.
3. Disguised Relational Hostility
Examples of this type of behavior include the silent treatment, social exclusion, neglect, sullen resentment, and indirectly harming something or someone important to the targeted individual.
4. Masked Psychological Manipulation
This entails lying, making excuses, being two-faced, backstabbing, intentionally pushing buttons, providing negative or discomforting surprises, blaming the victim for their own victimization, distorting the truth, using mixed messages to keep the recipient off balance, selectively disclosing or withholding information, exaggerating or understating, and presenting a biased view of an issue.
5. Guilt-Baiting
Unreasonable blaming, targeting the recipient's vulnerabilities, holding others responsible for the passive-aggressive individual's happiness and success, and holding others responsible for their own unhappiness and failures.
6. Stalling
Examples are:
- procrastination,
- forgetfulness,
- stonewalling,
- unnecessary bureaucracy,
- excuse making,
- breaking agreements.
7. Resistance
Traits such as stubbornness, rigidity, inefficiency, complication, incompleteness, or ruinous behavior in performing tasks.
8. Underhanded Sabotage
Purposefully undermining tasks, projects, activities, deadlines, or agreements; causing material harm or loss; disrupting positive interpersonal, social, or professional dynamics; deliberately disclosing harmful information; and obstructing communication and endeavors.
9. Self-Punishment
Exhibiting behaviors such as quitting, intentional failure, addiction, and self-harm.
10. Victimhood
Examples include exaggerated or imagined personal and health issues, dependency, codependency, deliberate fragility to elicit sympathy and favor, and adopting a weak, powerless, or martyr-like persona.
The Bottom Line
"Passive-aggressive behavior can be super sneaky but really damaging in relationships. Spotting these patterns early helps in setting boundaries and protecting your mental health. Sometimes you’ve got to call it out directly, even if it’s awkward, to keep things healthier," notes Wilda Harrison, a relationship coach.
And you don’t have to go through it alone! iFindCheaters can help you learn the truth and break free, all in a simple and private way.
Don't let jealously and fear take over your life. Get back your peace of mind by taking charge with iFindCheaters.
