12 signs your spouse is having an online affair

Signs Your Tinder Match is a Cheater

Online affairs, also called "cyber affairs," are basically cheating. These relationships happen behind people's backs and usually have sexual or intimate themes. They happen on the internet through chat, email, social media, and texting.


Having an affair online can hurt a committed relationship just as much as cheating in other ways. They often make the partner who isn't participating feel things like insecurity, anger, and jealousy. These kinds of betrayals hurt trust and could even lead to a breakup or divorce. In this article, we’ll talk about how to find out if your wife is cheating online, why it happens, and how to heal after being cheated.


Online affairs usually start for a variety of reasons, including:

  • Escaping Reality: Seeking refuge from the complexities of real life.
  • Indulging in Fantasy: Finding excitement in a fabricated online world.
  • Boosting Self-Esteem: Receiving validation and self-worth from online interactions.
  • Avoiding Relationship Problems: Using online encounters to sidestep issues in the primary relationship.

Online affairs thrive due to the internet's unique combination of accessibility, affordability, and anonymity.


Feeling worried and suspicious that your partner is having an affair online? If you find that you spend too much time on the computer or other devices like it, that could be a sign. However, there are some other, less strong signs.

1. Mysterious Password Changes

The two of you have built such a solid trust in each other that you feel comfortable sharing your phone's passcode. It's simple to allow others to use your account to place an order or view a Netflix show. If someone suddenly refuses to give you a new password after years of trust, that's a sign that they are cheating online.

2. Odd Hours on the Phone

More and more people are having affairs online, especially during the pandemic. Studies show that 25% of marriages have had cheating happen. It's a bad sign if your partner is chatting late at night or locked in a room during the time you used to spend together. In that case, the best way to catch a cheater online is to track their phone activity.

3. Constant Smiles at the Screen

When people have affairs online, they escape into a fantasy world where trust and loyalty aren't important. A giveaway is smiling all the time on the phone or in chats. This newfound happiness can be a red flag, especially if it comes with weak reasons.

4. Protective of Their Phone

People who are having an affair online treat their phone like holy ground. They keep an eye on it all the time, even in the bathroom. The fact that they use their phone in secret is a dead giveaway. Wondering how to find out if your wife is cheating on her phone? Here’s a free solution for you!

5. Increased Happiness and Ease of Mind

Multiple online affairs can make a partner surprisingly content and easygoing. Annoying habits that once bothered them seem inconsequential. While they may appear happier, it's actually indifference to the relationship and a sign of online cheating.

6. Hiding Friend Lists on Social Media

A sudden change in social media privacy settings, blocking access to friend lists, or limiting your presence on their feed is suspicious. It's a preemptive move to hide their online connections, a sign of potential online infidelity. The next question you’d probably ask: how to find out if someone has dating profiles? And there’s a quick answer! This tool lets you analyze your partner’s social media and dating sites activity, with just their email address and full name.

7. Emotional Distance

If your partner has emotionally disconnected from the relationship, it's noticeable. They might sit beside you but feel miles away, showing a lack of affection and intimacy. Emotional distance is a clear sign of online cheating.

8. Limiting Public Displays of Affection

Your partner may stop sharing pictures or updating their relationship status on social media. This behavior aims to hide their involvement in online affairs and is a way of leading a double life.

9. Sexual Routine

Online affairs can divert emotional and physical energy from the physical relationship. Intimacy becomes routine, devoid of passion. It's a sign of dissatisfaction and a possible consequence of online cheating.

10. Defensive Behavior

Partners engaged in online affairs tend to become defensive over trivial matters. They react strongly, shifting blame and manipulating truths. It's a sign of deception and an inability to maintain a consistent story.

11. Excessive Spending

A sudden transfer of funds from a joint account, secretive expenditures on luxury items, and an insistence on budgeting are signs of an online affair. These financial actions often accompany other signs of online cheating.

12. Desire for Privacy

It's possible that someone who's having an internet affair might like some alone time. They want privacy to avoid getting caught cheating, and they need it to keep in touch with their online connections.


Talking to your partner about your worries is very important if you think they are having an affair online. This conversation could be tough, so take some time to think about what you want to say and go into it quietly. It's also important to find out why they're having an affair; it could help you understand how your relationship works.

Infidelity often serves as a symptom of underlying issues in the relationship, such as:

  • Communication breakdown
  • Financial struggles
  • Lack of respect or appreciation
  • Sexual or emotional dissatisfaction
  • Incompatibility
  • Professional dissatisfaction
  • Major life stressors, like relocation or job changes

Even though you shouldn't be accountable for your partner's online affair, it's a good idea to think about how your behavior might be causing problems in your relationship.

Additionally, think about the chance of underlying mental health issues or addictions, especially when cybersex or pornography is involved.

If the affair is happening online, your partner needs to promise to end it right away. To deal with the emotional effects and build trust again, you should talk to each other openly. If you're having a hard time dealing with the breach of trust and other problems that come up, it's a good idea to get help from a licensed relationship counselor. And what if suspicions arise, and you feel like you don’t trust them anymore? In that case, the best way to catch a cheater is to look through their online activity.


  1. Adam A. Perceptions of infidelity: A comparison of sexual, emotional, cyber-, and parasocial behaviors
  2. American Psychological Association. Are internet affairs different?
  3. Laier C, Pawlikowski M, Pekal J, Schulte FP, Brand M. Cybersex addiction: Experienced sexual arousal when watching pornography and not real-life sexual contacts makes the difference.
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