We know, dating can get tricky... and sometimes we end up believing certain things about how they should be. You probably have thoughts and hopes about other people, relationships, and yourself. But sometimes these expectations could be very unreasonable. Someone may expect something from you, because they have some ideas of how you should act. So, what are these ideas? They're called stereotypes!
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Let's look at some of these social stereotypes, and some better ways to get along with others.
3 REASONS WHY WE THINK STEREOTYPES ARE NORMAL.
Like other types of biases, these stereotypes are often formed by social and cultural factors. Traditional gender roles, for example, say that men should be in charge and women should be submissive.
These beliefs are deeply rooted in culture, and can be hard to shake, even in relationships that reject traditional roles.
Studies show that women do about ¾ of the world's unpaid work, which takes a toll on their mental health.
Below, we've put together a list of typical roots, where stereotypes come from.
1. YOUR CHILDHOOD
What we went through as kids shapes a lot of what we think about relationships. What you see and learn as a child shapes how you think relationships should work as an adult.
Sometimes you may see and accept these behaviors in your own family, and they may happen again in your relationships. If you grew up in an unhealthy family, you’d probably think that those behaviors are normal.
2. THE MEDIA
Songs, movies, and TV shows often give us wrong ideas about relationships. They don't always show the real ups and downs of being in a relationship.
Sometimes, they make us believe it's okay to control someone or not care about how they feel. And because we see these ideas so often, we may come to believe they are normal or even good.
3. OTHER REASONS
There are lots of other things that can influence how we see relationships:
- Biases. Society makes treat some people better than others. And it has a great affection on how we see relationships.
- Traumas. We may act strangely in new relationships if we've been hurt in the past.
- Culture. Different cultures have different ideas about how people should act in relationships.
5 COMMON DATING STEREOTYPES
To get it better, here are 5 common dating stereotypes, and why they can ruin your dating life.
1. WOMEN ONLY CARE ABOUT MONEY
Many guys think women are only interested in wealth and success… because they want a sort of financial security. Feeling safe is really important for many women. But it's not always about money!
Sure, there are some women who seek out wealthy men, but the same goes for some men too.
2. WOMEN ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR COMMITMENT
Unless your date is too needy, women probably aren't rushing into commitments.
Think about the real person in front of you, who might like you just the way you are, not this stereotype. If you have those thoughts, you could just miss out on something great.
3. MEN ONLY WANT SEX
Yes, men have desires too, including sexual ones. But men, just like women, want love and connection too.
If a man is interested in you, it means he likes you BOTH emotionally and physically.
4. MEN HAVE TO BE TALL, MUSCULAR, AND FIT
Both men and women don't want to be judged because of how they look. It’s just not true that men must be tall, athletic, and muscular to be attractive.
Sure, you can have your own tastes! Don't forget about people who doesn't seem like the typical candidate, though.
And the last one: man's character always makes more than his appearance.
5. "ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER"
People often think that someone who has cheated in the past will do it again. But cheating is complex, and people can change.
This research shows that personality and the extent to which a person blames their partner for infidelity affect their willingness to forgive.
Anyway, many people learn from their mistakes, and never cheat again. Still insecure? Or just looking for a sort of magic app to catch a cheater? Then just learn how to find out if someone is on a dating site!
BOTTOM LINE
If you find yourself putting people into groups based on their gender, or how they act, take a moment to remember that what you fight tends to stay. These stereotypes ignore how different each person is. Just do your best to get to know the real person! And if you feel a little afraid, a good-old Tinder search can help!