The idea of "micro-cheating" has become popular online, especially on TikTok, where users argue passionately about what actions qualify as this phenomenon. The hashtag has been used since 2018, but it has only recently become very popular on the platform, as shown by the fact that it has been seen over 25 million times.
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TikTokers have compiled lists that outline various examples of micro-cheating. These include engaging in secret friendships, liking suggestive photos, withholding event invitations from partners, refraining from posting about significant others on social media, and flirting with others either in person or through online interactions.
In April, user @teo.sol posted a widely-viewed video that listed multiple micro-cheating offenses, including confiding in an ex about current relationship issues. This content resonated with the TikTok community, garnering one million views and attracting a chorus of agreements in the comments section.
Another video, uploaded this month, featured an even more extensive list that encompassed a range of behaviors, from more serious transgressions such as stalking someone attractive who is not one's partner to less severe actions like being overly touchy with someone else.
In some instances, creators have categorized micro-cheating based on general characteristics rather than specific behaviors, such as secrecy, inattention, crossing relationship boundaries, and defensiveness.
Although many TikTok users find value in identifying and naming these micro-cheating behaviors, others question the necessity of such a classification. Critics argue that an abundance of rules can potentially undermine a relationship, suggesting that trust and open communication should be the foundation. They believe that terms like micro-cheating can diminish the gravity of these actions, preferring to label them as cheating, disrespect, or unfaithfulness.
Moreover, debates arise due to varying definitions of micro-cheating, influenced by individuals' levels of trust and insecurities. Boundaries play a significant role in determining what actions are perceived as micro-cheating. TikTokers engage in discussions, acknowledging that these boundaries differ from person to person.
Creators who advocate for the concept of micro-cheating argue that it serves as a useful tool to initiate important conversations within relationships. By labeling certain behaviors as micro-cheating, they believe it prompts individuals to communicate with their partners and understand each other's comfort levels. This open dialogue fosters healthy and communicative relationships.
TikTok, known for propelling the popularity of various phrases, has embraced the term 'micro-cheating' among its community members. Similar to other recently emerged terms like 'micro-wedding,' which describes a smaller-scale ceremony, the platform provides a space for discussing online dating and relationship infidelity.
"As a psychologist, I find the idea of "micro-cheating" very interesting. Even one small action can have a big effect on trust in a relationship. Don't focus on labels, though; instead, just be honest about your boundaries," says Wilda Harrison, a relationship psychologist.
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