Did you know that almost 40% relationships become abusive because people don't actually know what to say to each other? Yes, hurtful words can really damage your partner's feelings. Even some of them are easy to forgive, this phrases can break trust, cause emotional pain, and strain the relationship. Luckily, it's just a habit. A habit that you can easily fix.
RELATED: HOW TO SET EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
15 ABUSIVE PHRASES IN A RELATIONSHIP
A list below is an illustrative example of things you should avoid saying if you want your relationship last:
- "I wish I never met you." This statement can deeply wound your partner and lead to emotional withdrawal and friction in the relationship.
- "You have become fat." Jokes about body weight can harm your partner's self-esteem and mental health, eroding trust.
- "You are crazy." Labeling your partner as "crazy" questions their judgment and can be deeply hurtful.
- "You are wrong to be angry." Telling your partner they are wrong to feel angry trivializes their emotions and can escalate conflicts.
- "You don’t turn me on anymore." This phrase can cause insecurity and trust issues in a relationship.
- "I don't care." This dismissive statement can trigger fear of abandonment and erode trust.
- "Your parents are the reason for…" Blaming your partner's parents can bring back painful memories and force them into a defensive position.
- "I hate you." Uttering these words in anger can create bitterness and doubt in the relationship.
- "You never…" Generalizing your partner's behavior can lead to arguments and undermine trust.
- "What have you ever done for me?" This phrase belittles your partner's efforts and sacrifices.
- "I wish you (or we) could be like…" Comparing your partner to others can damage self-esteem and trust.
- "You are my biggest mistake." Expressing regrets about the relationship can lead to doubt and insecurity.
- "It’s your fault that…" Blaming your partner shifts responsibility and escalates conflicts.
- "You are selfish!" Labeling your partner as selfish undermines trust and appreciation.
- "Shut up." A rude, dismissive, and harming phrase.
HOW TO FIX A RELATIONSHIP?
Ever said those phrases to your partner? There are 5 steps you can take to fix this:
- Acknowledge your mistake and admit fault.
Recognize that you made a mistake by speaking hurtful words. - Apologize sincerely.
Offer a heartfelt apology to your partner without making excuses. - Accept that the relationship may change.
Understand that your words may have lasting effects on the relationship. - Allow your partner space and time.
Let your partner determine the pace of the relationship's recovery. - Commit to avoiding hurtful words.
Do your best not to make the same mistakes. And learn from them.
The Bottom Line
Words have the power to make a relationship better or worse. If abusive remarks have hurt your relationship and you want to fix it, follow these steps to rebuild trust and keep the lines of communication open.
A relationship psychologist named Wilda Harrison says, "Be aware of what we say, but it's as important to deal with the reasons why hurtful words come up. Sometimes the problem is deeper than what was said; unresolved problems and unmet needs can lead to hurtful ways of talking to each other. To fix a relationship, you need to do more than just say sorry. You need to deal with the problems at their roots and help your partner understand and care about each other."
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