It's never easy to break up, especially if the smell of your ex-partner is still there. There is no one way to move on; everyone has their own unique journey that looks and feels different. Letting go isn't just a choice; it's a trip that changes you, a complicated process that needs your full attention.
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Dutch researchers released a 2019 study, discovered that 26% of men and women who divorced got depression-like symptoms, even if the upset occurred six months prior. You can be on either breakup side. A 2022 Family Relations study indicated that breakup initiators are equally as likely to experience despair regarding how to move on. Another 2022 study suggests men may be more susceptible to mental health issues.
WHY MOVING ON FROM YOUR EX IS CHALLENGING
Now let’s talk simply about things that matter to the heart. It's both easy and complicated truth: it's hard to let go of someone once your heart feels deeply connected to them. The emotional connection is strong, so the fight continues even when common sense tells you they might not be the best match. This connection could come and go, only showing up sometimes.
When people have deep feelings for someone, they often hold on to them even when things get hard. I don't want to oversimplify this as a therapist, but this acceptance isn't just based on self-esteem. In fact, self-love gives people the tools they need to say no to bad treatment, but there's more to it than that. Situations like these, show how strong and determined the heart is. Everyone has the ability to feel deep love. When we show this kind of deep love to someone, we see them through a very different lens. We call that kind of love "unconditional love." People who have experienced times of unconditional love can't deny how strong the bond is. Love that doesn't depend on conditions can magically hide flaws in people, making the meeting brilliant. That short-lived beauty is pure bliss!
In those damn good times, you may have loved your ex without conditions and seen their best self. At the same time, though, realizing that they might not be the right person for you is a complicated feeling. Ever asked yourself how to catch a cheating boyfriend? In this case, you still can get this question answered, even if you’re already broke up. How? Just using this free tool! Anyway, at this point, you're learning one of the hardest lessons about relationships. Luckily, there is a way to get through all of this difficulty and get to the other side.
8 STEPS TO HEAL AND MOVE ON
1. Know That Every Relationship Expire
Know that each relationship has a certain amount of time it can last. Like milk, it did what it was supposed to do for a certain amount of time. Know that the length of time was right because there were lessons to be learned. This way of thinking will help you separate and accept, which will make it easier to let go.
2. Emotional Expression
Let the pain take over your whole body. A form of denial is denying or downplaying the feelings that come with the breakup. You lost something that was important to you and a part of your life. Allow yourself some time to cry and reflect on how deeply you cared.
3. Extracting Lessons
Think of the broken relationship as a way to learn something important. Every clash gives you diamonds, which are new insights about the world, your relationships, and yourself. Take these lessons to heart; they will help you get out of the mental quagmire. It's hard, but it's also very satisfying.
4. Focusing on Why It Ended
Move your attention from the highlight reel to what's going on behind the scenes. Remember the fights, tears, and awkward silences that happened because it didn't work. When you play the documentary instead of the highlights, you resist the urge to romanticize a past that isn't true to life. Wondering how to find out if someone has dating profiles? Just use this free tool!
5. Physical Release
Use your energy to do something active. Working out is a good way to relieve stress. Take on new challenges, try new things, and start doing the things you've always wanted to do. A body that feels refreshed often helps the mind start to heal.
6. Transforming Emotion into Action
Change your way of thinking to something you can do. Describe what it means to let go in real life. Think about it and divide it into groups, such as therapy, exercise, nutrition, friends, hobbies, work, and passion. Make a real plan of action based on this idea.
7. Embrace Life through Action
Getting busy with your life is part of letting go. Take action in many areas, such as getting therapy or self-help, focusing on nutrition and fitness, getting back in touch with friends, developing hobbies, moving up in your job, and following your passions. When you start rebuilding your life, the emotional and mental changes will happen on their own.
8. Trust the Healing Process
Invest in your life with a purpose. Don't avoid social situations; instead, get involved in new things. At first, things might be hard, but getting up every day and investing in your life is the way through. Don't forget that what you feed grows. Turn your attention away from the past and toward the present and the new you.
