what to do when your partner stops talking

Communication problems between two people are often the main focus of couples therapy. In one such session, a wife poured her heart out, describing her husband as a kind and friendly person to everyone except her. No, it’s not a case where wife catches husband cheating! He remained silent, seemingly engulfed in his thoughts. She, frustrated, demanded to know why he wouldn't talk to her, convinced that he was harboring anger towards her.


Another couple, faced their own communication woes. After almost a year of dating, man asked her girlfriend to move in with him. She hesitated and couldn't bring herself to discuss why. This silence felt like a sign that his girlfriend might not love him or didn't want to live together.

When these things happen, the lack of conversation is often a sign of deeper problems with intimacy. It's hard to imagine that someone we care about might be scared of getting close to us, or that we ourselves have the same fears. Still, a lot of us deal with these competing wants without even realizing it.

On one hand, we yearn for profound connections where we feel truly seen and understood. On the other, we fear that such connections might engulf our independence and, perhaps, our identity. For some, even casual conversation can evoke dread that they'll become too entangled, losing their sense of self.

Maintaining the balance between intimacy and independence is akin to a tightrope act. We sway from one side to the other, struggling to stay upright. We draw close, only to pull away.

In simpler relationships, like those with colleagues, managing this balance is less complicated. However, when it comes to deep, meaningful relationships, such as romantic partnerships, finding equilibrium becomes a formidable task.

To facilitate these challenging conversations, two fundamental rules come into play.


Rather than jumping to conclusions that your partner's silence stems from something you've done or not done, consider that it may be rooted in their own emotional and psychological conflicts regarding closeness. They might fear becoming overly reliant on you, prompting them to maintain distance by not talking. Alternatively, they might worry that something they say will push you away. In both cases, their silence is an unconscious attempt to strike a balance.

This was evident in the first couple’s situation, described in this piece’s intro. Wife believed her husband’s silence meant his lack of love for her, given that she felt like the sole recipient of his silence. However, he interacted and played with their children but became uncommunicative when she engaged him in conversation. It was vital for her to broaden her perspective, realizing that his behavior wasn't exclusively directed at her. Simultaneously, he needed to find the words to express his thoughts.

After several therapy sessions, he admitted that his difficulty in talking to her arose from their closeness. He had wanted her to understand his thoughts without him verbalizing them, and when she didn't, it left him frustrated. Importantly, he recognized that this wasn't her fault but his own internal conflict.


Couples often believe that deep, meaningful conversations are the key to closeness. However, it's the seemingly insignificant moments and topics that truly bond a relationship. Shared jokes, brief discussions about each other's days, complaints about everyday aches and pains—these seemingly trivial matters form the foundation of a relationship.

Deep, meaningful conversations don't spontaneously arise; they evolve from the everyday small talk. Couples should initiate conversations about the minutiae of their daily lives, allowing them to intimately understand each other as individuals and as a couple. While many may dismiss "small talk," psychoanalyst Harry Stack Sullivan pointed out that our core selves are embedded in these details. Increased communication about the supposedly trivial aspects of life fosters a deeper connection, making the couple feel closer and more at ease with one another.

Interestingly, these two rules — discuss the small stuff and don't take things personally — not only bring couples closer but also strengthen their individual identities. This, in turn, makes it easier to tackle more substantial issues when they arise.


When you and your partner can't talk to each other, it can feel like you're lost in a sea of confusion. But there is hope – iFindCheaters, the best way to catch a cheater, can help you if you're having trouble with silence: our cutting-edge online service isn't just for finding secrets; it's a way to get back together with someone.

Do you have questions and worries about whether or not your partner will stay with you? Wondering how to find out if someone has dating profiles? iFindCheaters can look for your partner’sfake accounts on dating and social media sites withoutthem knowing. The best thing? Feel free to stay away from their phone and don't worry about making things worse if you get caught.

Find trust again, open lines of contact again, and get back in touch with your loved one. iFindCheaters can give you the truth and help you build a better, more open, and loving relationship.Try us for freetoday and get better at speaking about terrifying things by knowing the facts.


Couple communication, emotional and sexual intimacy, and relationship satisfaction

infidelityfunforgivenessfriendshipmaking uponline datingrelationship securityifindcheatersfind cheating partnercatch cheatingonline activitysexual satisfactiondate your partnerkeep the sparkdesire your partnerlove is scaryifindcheaters.comreconciliationcheatingcheaterdetect lyingdeceptionrelationshipsforgive cheatingdate nightsHappinessfidelitygood sexcommunicationlove conquers cheaatingmate poachingdiscover a cheaterdeception in relationshipscommitmentlovehappy relationshipsreal connectionsvulnerabilityauthenticitycatching cheaterssexual hypocrisysexual narcissismcheatersuncover deceptionrebuilding trustinfidelity happenslove after cheatingavoid cheatinglove and laughter20 minute talkscheating partnerrelationship concernssmart phone savvysecretsfailed relationshipno blamewhite liesloving relationshipssurviving infidelitycatch cheaterserial daterscheaters technologycommitted relationshiplying partnerdetecting deceptionValentine's DayMake up don't break upaffection for healthlove and humorhappily ever aftergratitudeintimacy and social distancingcovid-19 and relationshipscoping with quarantinevirtual datingvideo cheatingpartner cheatingcovid-19 relationshiplove stresswhy do we cheatonline cheaterdouble standardDeceptive Cheaterslying and cheatingself-deceptionhow to catch cheaterscheating spousehow to find cheaterlying spouseavoid liarsreconciliation after cheatinglove and cheatingjust sexovercome cheatingsearch tinder profilestinder profile searchsearch tinder profilesearch a tinder profilefind a cheater on tinderhow to find out if someone is on tindertinder account findercheating on tindercaught cheating on tinderpartner might be cheating on youpartner is lying about cheatingfind your partner on dating sites.common signs of cheatinghow to find someone on dating sitessigns your spouse is cheatingSpouse is Cheatinghow to find out if your spouse is cheatingfind out if your spouse is cheatingways to find out if your spouse is cheatingapps to find out if your spouse is cheatingcaught my partner on a dating appfind a partner on dating appsiFindCheaters Appcatch a cheaterhow to catch a cheaterfind out if partner is on tindercatch cheating wifecheating wivestinder searchfind on tinder
Show More