to block or not to block your ex

In a perfect world, every breakup would be amicable, and relationships would stand the test of time. Unfortunately, we don't live in an ideal world, and breakups are often unpleasant experiences. This raises the question of whether blocking your ex is the right move and how to navigate this decision. While there are no easy answers, we can provide some guidance on the matter.


Blocking Your Ex: Pros and Cons

Each situation is unique, so it's important to carefully consider the reasons for and against blocking your ex. You can create a list of pros and cons by taking some time to reflect. Although your list will be personal to your circumstances, there are a few common reasons that may influence your decision.

Reasons to Block:

  • Emotional satisfaction: Blocking your ex might provide temporary relief and a sense of empowerment. You can always reconsider later if necessary.
  • Healing space: A breakup is a loss that requires time to process. Blocking your ex can create a necessary emotional distance for healing.
  • Self-healing: While the wounds are fresh, staying in contact can be painful. Taking time apart allows you to recover and gain a better perspective.
  • Avoiding temptation: Even if you initiated the breakup, you may still feel a strong attraction to your ex. Blocking them can prevent impulsive actions that may complicate your life.
  • Self-care: It's valid to prioritize your well-being and acknowledge that you can't handle the situation or your ex at the moment.

Reasons Not to Block:

  • Practical considerations: If there are shared belongings or logistical matters to address, maintaining communication may make it easier to sort these things out.
  • Shared community: Blocking your ex may also mean cutting off mutual friends or contacts. Consider if that's a sacrifice you're willing to make, especially if you belong to the same community.
  • Consideration for others: Blocking your ex may put friends, family, or coworkers in an awkward position of taking sides. You might want to avoid this situation unless there are extreme circumstances involved.
  • Co-parenting or custody issues: If you have children together, blocking your ex could complicate matters legally and emotionally. It's essential to consider the best interests of the child and the potential consequences.
  • Expert opinions vary: Even relationship experts have different viewpoints on blocking. Some suggest a temporary block for a specific period, while others advocate for alternative approaches.

Dealing with Abusive or Threatening Behavior Blocking your ex becomes an absolute necessity if you experienced abuse, threats, or stalking. In such cases, there's no room for debate. Stop reading and take immediate steps to block your ex across all platforms.

Abusers are skilled manipulators who may try to control and track your activities. Blocking them removes vulnerabilities and limits their access to your online presence. It may also be necessary to block their friends and family to prevent information leakage.

Blocking Your Ex on Major Platforms

Once you've made the decision to block your ex, you'll need to follow through on each platform where you're connected.

Here are some instructions for the major social media platforms:

  1. Facebook: Visit the Privacy, Safety, and Security page in Facebook's Help Center for instructions on unfriending or blocking someone.
  2. Instagram: Check out Instagram's Blocking People page for guidance. Blocking someone on Instagram also prevents them from creating new accounts to contact you.
  3. Snapchat: Refer to the Snapchat support page on how to Remove and Block Friends. Adjust your privacy settings to further control what your blocked ex can see.
  4. Twitter: Twitter's help page provides information on blocking users. Note that your ex must be logged in to be blocked, and third-party apps may bypass the block. Be cautious of mentioning them in tweets as they can see those during the reporting process.
  5. TikTok: TikTok's Blocking Users page offers simple steps to block someone.

Don't Forget Other Communication Channels

Depending on your previous modes of communication, you may need to block your ex on messaging apps or inform mutual friends not to act as intermediaries.

Fully escaping your ex on social media can be challenging, unless you decide to close your accounts entirely. However, you can take additional steps to limit their impact. For example, on Facebook, you can "take a break" from your ex or create lists to restrict their access to your posts.

If your ex is determined to maintain contact, you may need to be cautious about new accounts or phone numbers they might use to bypass your defenses. Tools like Listing Locator can help you discover associated numbers, emails, and social media handles. This can be particularly helpful in identifying if unknown contacts are connected to your ex.

Finding Your Balance

Remember that blocking your ex doesn't have to be a permanent decision unless the situation calls for it. If things are not overly hostile, you can be open about your intentions, stating that you need a designated period of blocked contact for personal reasons. When you eventually unblock them, make it clear that it doesn't imply a desire to reconcile, but rather a readiness to move forward with your life.

Ultimately, prioritize yourself. If blocking your ex helps you cope with the breakup, do it without feeling guilty. If you're comfortable maintaining limited contact, that's also a valid choice. Everyone grieves and heals differently, and sometimes putting yourself first is necessary—and completely okay.

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