dealing with relationship anxiety 4 causes and 5 ways to cope

A relationship in its early stages might have interesting talks, clear communication, and the promise of a happy ending. Even though this could be happiness, questions still stay: "What do they see in me?" How long will it last? Sometimes these questions stay with you even after you've said "I love you," which could be a sign of relationship anxiety.



When worries permeate a relationship, evolving into a constant companion, relationship anxiety may be at play. Let's dissect some common triggers:

1.  Anxious Attachment Style

Constantly questioning the security of a relationship may trace back to early relationships with parents or caregivers. A secure attachment style, developed through consistent love and affection, contrasts with an anxious attachment style, arising from inconsistent care and potential cruelty. This can lead to seeking constant assurance and vigilance against perceived loss of affection, what was proven by studies.

2. Negative Past Experiences

Similar to fearing a bee sting after a prior incident, past relationships impacting self-worth can instill anxiety. If prior relationships cast doubt on self-value or attractiveness, the fear of replicating negative experiences may persist in new relationships.

3. Low Self-Esteem

As this research shown, individuals grappling with low self-esteem may harbor constant doubts about their partner's feelings and question their deservingness of love. This condition can foster assumptions of infidelity and other concerns, jeopardizing the relationship's future.

4. Poor Communication

Lack of open conversations about feelings, the relationship's status, or shared plans can create a void, paving the way for anxiety. Unaddressed concerns may lead to an atmosphere of uncertainty and worry.


Anxiety in relationships can be effectively addressed if its symptoms can be recognized. These signs show that your worry may be affecting your relationship:

  • Doubting your partner's genuine feelings.
  • Seeking constant reassurance from your partner.
  • Prioritizing your partner's desires to your detriment.
  • Controlling behaviors regarding your partner's movements.
  • Demonstrating clinginess in various situations.
  • Holding doubts about romantic compatibility.
  • Over-analyzing words and actions for signs of trouble.
  • Constantly fearing your partner intends to end the relationship.
  • Spending more time worrying than enjoying the relationship.

In severe cases, relationship anxiety can lead to self-sabotage, amplifying minor issues, testing fidelity, or deliberately adopting an aloof demeanor to preemptively protect against hurt.


Living with anxiety casts a profound shadow over relationships, often leading to distinct behavioral patterns. One observable effect is a tendency to oscillate between excessive dependency on a partner and withdrawing into isolation. The need for constant reassurance and validation can create a dependency that strains the relationship, while anxiety-induced isolation makes it challenging to sustain meaningful connections.

Furthermore, anxiety can corrode the pillars of trust and communication within a relationship. Expressing needs becomes an uphill task for anxious individuals, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts.


1. Open Communication

Always talk with your partner about your worries, hopes, and plans for the future. It's easier to trust each other and value the connection more when you can talk about it clearly.

2. Embrace the Present

Instead of fixating on future uncertainties, relish the present moment. Cherishing your current joy and appreciating your chosen partner can counteract anxiety rooted in hypothetical future scenarios.

3. Confront Your Anxiety

Actively question the reasons behind your anxieties. Whether it stems from past relationships or self-esteem issues, understanding the root cause is the first step toward addressing and overcoming relationship anxiety.

4. Professional Therapy

Getting professional help through therapy can give you personalized advice on how to deal with worry. Therapists can help change negative thought habits, deal with issues of self-worth, and suggest ways to keep the relationship from getting worse in the long term.

5. Know Your Partner

You only need to accept that there are times when you can't be with your partner and be sure that they will stay with you. In this case, the best thing to do is find out what they do online. Curious how to find out if your wife is cheating? Luckily, there’s a tool that can scan your partner’s online behavior and tell what they’re really into!

Tap this link to learn how to find out if someone has dating profiles for free.


Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps deal with anxiety in the relationship. That was proven by studies multiple times. CBT lessens the effects of anxiety by helping each person recognize and control anxious thoughts and behaviors. This creates a supportive and understanding environment.

However, Wilda Harrison, a relationship psychologist, says: "As a psychology coach, I believe that focusing only on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) may oversimplify a complicated issue. Not only cognitive restructuring is important, but we shouldn't forget the power of looking inside ourselves and understanding our own emotional patterns. Don't forget how important holistic approaches are for making connections healthier."

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