There's no way around the fact that a split is always hard to get over. After a breakup, it's normal to feel a lot of pain, whether you or your partner cut off. The first thing you should realise is that your deep sadness won't last forever.
RELATED: IS DIVORCE EVER A SOLUTION? 9 PROS AND CONS
Have you ever got these thoughts?
- "I loved the time we spent together. "How will I ever get by without them in my life?"
- "I miss those texts in the morning. Could I have changed to keep the relationship going?"
- "Perhaps we can maintain some form of contact, even if it's just as friends."
7 STEPS TO HEAL AFTER A BREAKUP
Here is a list of seven things you can do right now to help you move on. Don't think about the past, do something right away to help yourself feel better.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Don't try to hide or ignore your feelings or tell yourself early on that this was actually a blessing in disguise. Instead, let yourself be sensitive and give yourself time and space to cry.
This article suggests that crying can be used to bring the body back into balance after hard emotional distress. Don't be scared to express your feelings. Like crying it out in public or burying your face in a pillow in your room.
For some people, a bad breakup can make them depressed or bring up an old mental health problem, as this study shows.
2. Remove Reminders of Your Ex
You need to get rid of all the things that remind you of your ex in order to move on. Make clear rules, remove them from social media, and ask family and friends not to talk about your ex.
While you don't have to get rid of every reminder, putting them out of sight can help you heal.
According to this study, keeping virtual connection with your partner can make it hard to get over a breakup. Lessening your memories of the link from the past can help you move on without feeling too nostalgic.
3. Make a List of Your Ex's Faults
Listing your ex's faults can help you gain perspective and remind yourself why the relationship didn't work. Focus on the reasons you're not a good match.
For example, if your ex was cheating on you, remind yourself of those things and why it would have never worked anyway. What could be worse than a situation where husband catches wife cheating?
4. Take Care of Yourself
Eat well, work out, take regular showers, and get enough sleep to keep a healthy schedule. Pay attention to your freedom and sense of self-worth.
Here are some ways to take care of yourself that might help:
- Going to a yoga class
- Writing in a journal
- Becoming more mindful
- Putting on music
- Making changes to a room in your house
- Inhaling scents
- Having a podcast play
5. Connect With Other People
Talk to your family and friends and do things that make you happy. Avoid isolation and create an emergency contact list for moments of weakness.
6. Plan a Solo Adventure
Embrace spending time alone by planning solo activities or trips. It's a chance to rediscover yourself and do things your ex wouldn't have agreed to do.
7. Accept That It's Over
Accepting that the relationship is over is a vital step. It's unlikely you'll reunite with your ex, so don't get stuck in hope or self-blame. Learn from the relationship but keep moving forward.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Recovery from a breakup takes time and looks different for everyone, but happiness returns. Whether you started the split or were surprised, you must go on. How you do that is up to you. You must actively move on.
The idea that crying right away when you're upset might not always be the healthiest one, as psychologist Wilda Harrison points out. "Even though it's healthy to recognize and accept your emotions, focusing on them too much might make you feel worse and slow down your healing process. Distractions and avoiding reminders can sometimes get in the way of emotional processing that is needed for growth. Acceptance and self-care are very important, but the time it takes and the ways people heal can be very different, which challenges the idea that there is a single best way to recover from a breakup."
You won't handle every day perfectly, but as long as you make intentional choices to live a healthy life, you'll feel better and heal your shattered heart. Most emotional healing occurs in the first year after divorce, according to this research.
Still not over your ex? Feeling confused about why you wanted to end the relationship? Cheating suspicions are always hard to accept, especially when your proof isn’t strong enough. Hopefully, there’re many ways to catch a cheater online. For instance, this one is free to use and it can look for any sort of evidence to prove that you were right.
REFERENCES
1. Jonathan Gardner, Andrew J. Oswald Do divorcing couples become happier by breaking up?
2. Asmir Gračanin, Lauren M. Bylsma, Ad J. J. M. Vingerhoets Is crying a self-soothing behavior?
3. Shaik S, Rajkumar RP, Menon V, Sarkar S. Gender, life events, and depression: an exploratory study
4. Brody N, LeFebvre L, Blackburn K. Holding on and letting go: Memory, nostalgia, and effects of virtual possession management practices on post-breakup adjustment
5. Bernstein MJ, Claypool HM. Social exclusion and pain sensitivity: Why exclusion sometimes hurts and sometimes numbs
6. Golabchi A, Sarrafzadegan N. Takotsubo cardiomyopathy or broken heart syndrome: A review article
