No matter how long or hard the relationship was, it's always hard to get over a breakup. It's common to feel a lot of emotional pain after a breakup, no matter if you or your partner broke up. People who have recently been through a breakup should know that their deep sadness won't last forever.
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It's normal for people to feel a lot of different emotions after the end of a relationship, such as grief, anger, self-blame, and loneliness. Anger and sadness like these often show up:
- "I loved the time we spent together. "How will I ever get by without them in my life?"
- "I miss those texts in the morning. Could I have changed to keep the relationship going?"
- "Perhaps we can maintain some form of contact, even if it's just as friends."
7 STEPS TO HEAL AFTER A BREAKUP
To help you move on, here is a list of seven things you can do right now to ease the pain and start fix your broken heart. Don't think about the past too much. Instead, do something right away to help yourself feel better.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Allow yourself to be vulnerable and give yourself time and space to cry instead of attempting to hide or ignore your emotions or convince yourself early that this was a blessing in disguise.
This article suggests that crying can be used to self-soothe and bring the body back into balance after experiencing emotional distress. Don't be scared to express your feelings, whether that means crying it out in public or burying your face in a pillow in your room.
Problems can multiply if you don't give yourself time to feel and recover from your emotions. For some people, a bad breakup can make them depressed or bring up an old mental health problem, as this study shows.
2. Remove Reminders of Your Ex
You need to get rid of all the things that remind you of your ex in order to move on. Make clear rules, remove them from social media, and ask family and friends not to talk about your ex.
While you don't have to get rid of every reminder, putting them out of sight can help you heal.
According to this study, keeping virtual connection with your partner can make it hard to get over a breakup. Lessening your memories of the link from the past can help you move on without feeling too nostalgic.
3. Make a List of Your Ex's Faults
Listing your ex's faults can help you gain perspective and remind yourself why the relationship didn't work. Focus on the reasons you're not a good match.
For example, if your ex was cheating on you, remind yourself of those things and why it would have never worked anyway. What could be worse than a situation where husband catches wife cheating?
4. Take Care of Yourself
Self-care is key to healing. Maintain a healthy routine by eating well, exercising, showering regularly, and getting enough sleep. Focus on your independence and self-worth.
Here are some ways to take care of yourself that might help:
- Going to a yoga class
- Writing in a journal
- Becoming more mindful
- Putting on music
- Making changes to a room in your house
- Inhaling scents
- Having a podcast play
5. Connect With Other People
Reach out to friends and family for support and engage in activities that make you happy. Avoid isolation and create an emergency contact list for moments of weakness.
6. Plan a Solo Adventure
Embrace spending time alone by planning solo activities or trips. It's a chance to rediscover yourself and do things your ex wouldn't have agreed to do.
7. Accept That It's Over
Accepting that the relationship is over is a vital step. It's unlikely you'll reunite with your ex, so don't get stuck in hope or self-blame. Learn from the relationship but keep moving forward.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Recovery from a breakup takes time and looks different for everyone, but happiness returns. Whether you started the split or were surprised, you must go on. How you do that is up to you. You must actively move on.
The idea that crying right away when you're upset might not always be the healthiest one, as psychologist Wilda Harrison points out. "Even though it's healthy to recognize and accept your emotions, focusing on them too much might make you feel worse and slow down your healing process. Distractions and avoiding reminders can sometimes get in the way of emotional processing that is needed for growth. Acceptance and self-care are very important, but the time it takes and the ways people heal can be very different, which challenges the idea that there is a single best way to recover from a breakup."
You won't handle every day perfectly, but as long as you make intentional choices to live a healthy life, you'll feel better and heal your shattered heart. Most emotional healing occurs in the first year after divorce, according to this research.
Still not over your ex? Feeling confused about why you wanted to end the relationship? Cheating suspicions are always hard to accept, especially when your proof isn’t strong enough. Hopefully, there’re many ways to catch a cheater online. For instance, this one is free to use and it can look for any sort of evidence to prove that you were right.
REFERENCES
1. Jonathan Gardner, Andrew J. Oswald Do divorcing couples become happier by breaking up?
2. Asmir Gračanin, Lauren M. Bylsma, Ad J. J. M. Vingerhoets Is crying a self-soothing behavior?
3. Shaik S, Rajkumar RP, Menon V, Sarkar S. Gender, life events, and depression: an exploratory study
4. Brody N, LeFebvre L, Blackburn K. Holding on and letting go: Memory, nostalgia, and effects of virtual possession management practices on post-breakup adjustment
5. Bernstein MJ, Claypool HM. Social exclusion and pain sensitivity: Why exclusion sometimes hurts and sometimes numbs
6. Golabchi A, Sarrafzadegan N. Takotsubo cardiomyopathy or broken heart syndrome: A review article
