When cell phones became popular, it wasn't a surprise that people started sexting. It means sharing and receiving flirty or suggestive text messages, photos, and videos. Well, the eggplant and avocado emojis are long gone, but people are still curious about how sexting affects relationships. Does it make our relationships stronger? Hurt them? Is it worth the chances that could happen? Finally, how to find out if someone has dating profiles and sexts online?
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In early studies about relationships, sexting was often seen as a risky thing. But Jonathon Beckmeyer recently did a study to challenge these ideas about sexting. This is similar to other topics we've looked into together. He didn't just assume that the risks of sharing are worse than the benefits. Instead, he dug deeper to find out.
A BRIEF NOTE ON THE SCIENCE
Some may that sexting is less likely to help or improve a relationship when it is not very serious. This is because someone is more likely to abuse the information if the relationship is not very serious.
After all, there isn't much to improve. For this reason, all of the people who took part in the study were in relationships when they filled out the poll, though some were in less serious ones than others.
Dr. Beckmeyer asked 484 young people about their experiences with sexting and how their relationships were going in terms of good and bad interactions and how committed they were. Here is what he found out:
NOT EVERYONE IS INTO SEXTING
If you didn't connect with the first paragraph and thought, "Nope, not my thing, thanks," you're not alone. This study found that 42% of people neither sent nor got sexts and did not want to. Fewer people were not flirting but wanted to (4.8%) or had partners who wanted to (5.8%). In the end, a lot of people just don't want to sext.
WHEN PEOPLE DO ENGAGE IN SEXTING...
More than half of the people taking part send or get sexts from their partners. Surprisingly, sexting was linked to better communication and more loyalty between partners. Isn't it interesting?
We must highlight that this study does not prove that sexting improves relationships or increases commitment. It's possible that sexting makes married couples feel more comfortable. This makes sense, since flirting requires a lot of trust and putting yourself out there. On the other hand, partners who get along well with each other may be able to use sexting in a way that makes their relationships better, not worse.
SO, SHOULD YOU SEXT?
A good rule of thumb is that when two people are together, they "should" be nice and respectful to each other. Besides that, each person should do what makes them feel good, what makes them feel safe, and what makes them feel closer to their partner.
About half of the young people in this study did this by sending each other silly messages or pictures. For a large number of other participants, it meant making sure their words were more PG. In a healthy partnership, partners should never try to force each other to do something that makes them feel bad. If one person says no to sexting, that should be taken as a limit that should be honored.
If you decide to sext, make sure that everyone involved is at least 18 years old. Even if you are also a child, it is against the law to send or receive explicit content with a minor in it. It's important for adults to set clear rules about how sexually explicit texts will be used, deleted, and shared (or not shared).
CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR PARNTER’S HABITS ONLINE?
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What's about the expert's opinion? A relationship psychologist, Wilda Harrison notes: "The study by Dr. Beckmeyer highlights some positive aspects, but you should note that sexting dynamics differ significantly between people and relationships. Sexting is a complicated issue that involves trust, boundaries, and personal preferences. Promoting it as a way to improve relationships is oversimplifying it. People should be careful when they sext because it can both strengthen and weaken relationships."
REFERENCES
Beckmeyer, J. J. (2023). Sexting and the dynamics of emerging adults' romantic partnerships. Sexuality and Culture, Advance Online
