v day or d day

The guy holds the girl's hand, a broken heart

Relationships are complicated.

There are all sorts of landmines and pitfalls, but when it’s good… it is oh so good! The last thing most couples need is more pressure from outside sources: enter Valentine’s Day the modern scourge of real romance. We live in an “Insta” world of constant comparison. Gird your loins and rev up your sense of humor – it is going to be a bumpy ride.

The crazy thing?

More break-ups happen two weeks before Christmas OR just before or after Valentine’s Day than any other time of the year! Both happen to be emotionally charged holidays that are also commercially driven. Talk about pressure, right? Bombarded by images of shiny happy people giving each other extravagant gifts or taking romantic trips. That is intimidating to say the least. It is up to you to not be one of those people.

The main reasons that relationships unravel during these times of year are:

  • The Pressure of Expectations.

You could call it the “gift size = love index”. If they really love you, they will find a way to sweep you off your feet (without a hockey stick). But why should we have to “buy” things to show love?

The Antidote? Give each other your time and attention. If you are really into each other, that is a gift you cannot put a price-tag on! If you are present and invested on a personal level, you can keep cheating at bay.

  • Social Media.

Back when I first got married SM had a very different meaning. Today SM means Social Media which means relentless comparison against manufactured relationships.

The Antidote? Take the time to get to know what your partner really cares about and create your own unique traditions on your own terms!  

  • Crisis and/or Conflict.

If a relationship is already on shaky ground because of poor communication, the pressure of the holidays can be the tipping point. If one partner or the other is not adequately appreciative, that can blow out of proportion. That is often the point where partner’s can be tempted to cheat.

The Antidote? Talk to each other! Talk dirty, talk frankly, get mad, share your thoughts and your dreams. If you do that you will resolve all conflicts and thrive!

Be your partner’s Valentine every day! Love should be celebrated more than once a year.

To learn more about how you can reconcile your relationship after infidelity read this:

To learn more about how we track down cheaters check this out:

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