“And they lived happily ever after!”
Most of us, especially the females, grew up believing that phrase was an imperative. Story books, broadcast, print and social media are still pounding away at that message. If you only view it as entertainment it is not a problem. Unfortunately, a lot of people spend most of their time comparing their lives to fairy tales. It isn’t hard to see why that is an unfair comparison.
Love lives in the little things.
Grand gestures can be impressive, but they set an unrealistic precedent. When you sweep someone off their feet, they may expect you to carry them the rest of your lives together. Relationships that last are partnerships. If one person is dependent upon the other one or both will grow weary. That is when cheating becomes a very real danger.
We all want to feel needed AND wanted. To know that your partner counts on you is a sign of their trust and appreciation. To know that your partner wants you, that is the glue and the fountain of youth. The way you each express your needs and wants is where the fun starts. The better you get to know your partner, the more little ways you will find to delight them.
Bad days happen.
Where love really shines is through how we deal with setbacks, share our frustrations and support each other. Remember that your partner also wants to feel that they are needed too. They want to show you they are trustworthy and be appreciated too. By letting each other in you are investing in your future together. Affection is how we show each other that we are not alone. Let your partner reach you and enjoy their attention.
Find the humor.
The couple that laughs together loves together. Private jokes are bonds that help you get through difficult challenges. Discovering what makes your lover laugh is a key to understanding them better. You should both feel free to express your humor naturally without contrivance. You shouldn’t feel you need to pretend to only like what your partner likes. It is healthy to have your own tastes and preferences. So long as you can agree on the important stuff, like values and principles, a little variety is a good thing!
Gratitude is the attitude!
It may sound like a cliché because it is used so often, but the power of gratitude is real. If you really want to motivate your partner let them know how grateful you are to have them in your life. When you actively show your appreciation for everything you share, more of the good stuff happens. Happiness is an active state. It does not just come it is generated, like electricity or a magnetic field.
Focus on the locus.
Be present. Celebrate what works and gives you pleasure. Acknowledge and adjust what is getting in the way of your individual and collective happiness. Talk about it. When a problem is identified and examined it begins to lose its power. Work together to find solutions. You both have skin in the game so you should both contribute to success as well as overcoming obstacles.
Two is better than one.
You deserve to enjoy a happy relationship. Experiences that are shared are always more memorable. A life is a series of moments, but it is not a straight line. There will be ups and downs, but when you love each other and let each other know it as often as possible you can face anything!